three hours shy of the new year, and i can feel it building.




this is going to be huge.

i think i just saw someone die. i think. they wouldn't let me in the ambulance because i'm not family. i offered her a ride to the blue line, that's all, and now she might be dead. there was blood everywhere; there's blood all over me. it was coming out of her head, mostly, and she didn't move. she didn't move the entire time i stood there. she didn't move when the ambulance came, and she didn't move when they put her on the stretcher. i saw one of them take her pulse, and i saw the look he gave. i think i just saw someone die.

now i'm thinking, and i'm thinking, and i'm always thinking, but i'm really fucking thinking. had i not given her a ride, she'd be alive right now, really alive, not possibly alive in some hospital somewhere away from the people who love her. i only know her name because i was the one to pull her wallet out of her back pocket. she told me, though, about the girl she loves, who she'd do anything for. the girl in california who's waiting for her. i think if she had one last phone call, she'd call california girl, and tell her what she told me.


that's a huge weight.